lost for your affection
by Ms.Kaykay Salvatore
Summary: "i lost him to a ghost..no a vampire nd i cnt save him. he dies, i save him, he get hit i cnt save him and the Gilbert ring is not helping i dnt knw what to do."-Bonnie "she said she forgive me because she understand what i had been going through." Damon
1. the new awakening

**Honey, Honey**

**I can see the stars all the way from here **

**Can't you see the glow on the window on the pane?**

**I can feel the sun whenever you near….**

Choosing weather to bring back your boyfriend is easy.

Choosing weather to be with him is hard, especially if he cheated.

I loved Jeremy so much that I did all I could to beg the witches to consider to bring him back to me because I loved him. When you loved someone, you would do anything for him and that's what I did. I did something that I may never do for anyone else for good reasons. If Damon never moved from getting shot Jeremy wouldn't have gotten hurt. I mean come on Damon a damn vampire yeah he was dying from a werewolf bite but it wouldn't have hurt him as much since he was a vampire and dying anyway.

But I guess he did what he did I couldn't change that like I couldn't change the fact Jeremy kept seeing his dead ex girlfriends anymore, I couldn't change the fact that when he talks to me that he thinks of Anna, I couldn't change the fact he kiss another girl a vampire no less that was dead that he really didnt break up with.

I'm sitting on my bed, a cover wrap around me and I'm hugging a pillow crying my heart out. Luckily my dad wasn't here not like he ever know what's wrong with me because he hardly ever home with me. Ever since grams died he been distance lately. It's hurt me to be by myself knowing there's no one here to comfort me and ask me if I'm going to be okay.

When Caroline told me what Jeremy did I felt like I lost grams all over again only this time I didn't break down, at least not in front of her. My mind was to destroy the necklace first then to focus on my problems. When I finally did destroy it, or at least when I thought I did Grams was right there beside me helping me holding my hand. When she had to go she told me she was so proud of me.

Some of me found that a lie because I mess with the balance of nature saving my cheating ex-boyfriend. How could she be proud of that? How could she be proud that I use all my magic on that now I can only do little spells now? She can't be proud of that because I'm most defiantly not. I feel weak even worse I feel like empty more than ever.

It's been a day which turn into a week then 2,3,4 weeks until it turn into a month before I even left the house. I didn't go to school I had a spell done to make me get good grades for the last couple of weeks before school ended, I didn't go to parties I don't see why though the world already crazy, and I didn't go to grille, I just didn't go nowhere. Elena, Matt and Caroline would come over and visit me but I also did a spell to make it seem like I'm never home. I never answer my phone, check my email. I did nothing but sit on my bed cry, sleep, eat which I barely did, and cry again.

But I'm determined to be myself again. I'm done with the crying and feeling sorry for myself. It's time that I get back on practicing magic since I have nothing else to do and be myself again. I fell asleep thinking how much tomorrow is going to change for the better or for the worse.

**Well thanks for reading please review. I don't own Vampire Diaries just wish I could write for them someday so I can create some Bamon love.**


	2. the beginning

**Waking up in the morning feeling like P Diddy**

**Grab my glasses I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit my city**

**Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of jack cause when I leave for the night**

**I aint commin back I'm talking**

**Pedicure on our toes, toes**

**Trying on all our clothes, clothes**

**Boys blowing up our phones, phones**

My alarm clock went off. Today is Friday. It's a new day, a new day with a new start from everything and everyone. I was finally going to get out the house. I decided I would walk around go to the woods practice a little magic and go to the grille and have a little fun. I deserve it.

I quickly took a shower, brush my teeth and hair and dress in a pink tank top with a grey jacket with black skinny jeans. I put on grey and pink tennis shoes on since I'm about to whip myself into shape again. I grab my hobo bag luckily my grimore can fit in it and a bare of light grey flats.

I grabbed my keys. I didn't want to drive my car and take it out the garage so I just walk. It was a simple enough task. I went into the kitchen grab a water bottle and apple and headed out the kitchen back door and walk to my destination.

I headed to the clearing. It was deep enough that no one could hear me. I think, well I hope. I was surrounded by trees so the sun didn't shine so much. I made a pentagram in sat in it concentrating on my powers. I wanted my energy to last, so nature helps with it. 10 minutes had past while I was channeling my powers. When I finished I wanted to start off with something simple first so I made flowers grow around me, I made the trees blow, and I even made the grass better looking by adding green so more to it. Well that's something I thought.

I grabbed my grimore from my bag and flip through it to find a good spell to push me good enough so I could channelize myself and power. I found a spell I been trying to do for the longest but also kept making me bleed from my nose. It was a spell that let you know whether people were telling the truth or not, not only human but trees and other things too. I guess I'm like Alice and wonderland talking to strange things. But then again I am strange.

"For those who want the truth revealed

Open their hearts and secrets unseal

From now until its now again

From now which the memories end

For those who are now in this house

Only truth will be heard from their mouth."

The wind kick up moving the trees leaves. I waited and nothing happen I was about to do it again until I heard a voice say: "your braver than you think." I look around everywhere to see where that voice was coming from. "I'm right here in front of you." I turn my head to see a beautiful woman standing before me. She was wearing a long white evening gown. It was tarnish, filthy, but yet still good enough for her to pull it off or something. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and heart shape face just like me. Only her skin color was lighter then mines. Her hair was down and messy but still made her even more beautiful.

"I did a truth spell not a conjuring spell…who are you." I asked getting up. I was really curious to who and what she is. I don't sense anything bad about her a lot good though. I knew I could trust her but my guard is still up if she dared try anything. "No need to be rude." She laughed. "I'm Abby…Abby Bennett I'm your mother dear." I look at her flabbergasted. I never knew my mom. All I knew is she left me really young. I knew nothing about her. Seeing her like this make it…hell I don't know what it makes it.

"How…are you dead?" I asked. She laughed whole heartily at me. "Others words yes." I stood shock. "How are you…dead?" I mumbled still flabbergasted. "Darling, that's a story for another time. I'm here because you wanted the truth and that what I'm here to do. I know this must be hard but you're a witch you can handle it. I'm just here to help you, baby girl." I nodded my head since that's the only thing I can do at the moment. "Look your smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think. Keep that in mind." She winked.

For the past couple of hours I was practicing my magic and also talking to my mom. It was weird that I could do both at the same time. I learned a lot. I learned my mom left me because of the magic because she couldn't handle it and she didn't want to see me go through with it. She explained to me how she died. She died because she save me and my father, using so much of her powers that it killed her.

She explained how much she misses me and how she wanted to take back what she did. Seeing my mom in person, so to speak bring to tears to my eyes. She reminds me so much of grams how confident she is, brave, strong, beautiful even. It's like she sent me to her for a reason. "Well baby girl, I guess you should finish the plans you made." She said. "How you know about my plans? And are you going?" I asked. I just met my mom for the first time I don't want her to go now. "Mother knows best. Remember I was your age before with powers and no I'll still be with you. I just have to leave every now and then but don't worry I'll come back." I smiled at her she smiled at me and vanish.

I gather my things drunk half of my water. I changed my shoes and headed to the grille it was already 7:30 I didn't want to stay out that late but I guess meeting your dead mother for the first time does that to you.

JEREMY

I was at the grille with Damon, Elena, Matt, Tyler, and Caroline. But there was no Bonnie. Every since she found out what I did, lately there was never a Bonnie. We walk past her house- nothing, we would see if she act school- again nothing, the cemetery , the grille, the old witch house she would go to again it all came up to an nothing.

I loved her but I loved Anna too. I know what I did was wrong and low on so many levels. I made out with my dead ghost of a vampire girlfriend. And on top if that I thought about her every time I was with her. I didn't know it will hurt this bad but hell it did.

I was sitting at the bar alone scowling. I didn't want to be around my sister and her friends because I really didn't feel like getting the guilty, pity stare. It was bad enough Bonnie doesn't come out the house or wherever. I don't need any more shit on top of the shit I can't handle.

I didn't know someone was behind me until Damon touches my shoulder. "Is this seat taken?" I just rolled my eyes at him. He knows damn well that seat isn't taken; he would know that if he stops making gaga eyes at my sister. "I guess not." And he sat his big ass down. "What wrong Gilbert, have low esteem?" I wanted to punch the damn vampire straight in his face he knows what wrong. Elena can't keep her damn mouth shut for nothing. First she would either tell Bonnie, sometimes Caroline, or Stefan something now she telling everything to Damon. I can't wait until she gets Stefan back so she can stop acting like a whore. "You know what wrong, I cheated on Bonnie, you dick." I snarled. "Whoa, it looks like you got too much self esteem. And by the way your sister is not a whore." He said drinking his bourbon he orders. "yeah whatever." I mumble realizing he was in my head. "Dude, get out my head." I snap,

"Dude? Seriously dude? You need to get over this and move on…to whatever you move on to." I look at him long and hard and finally moved to the pool table where Matt was.

DAMON

Well my little pep talk didn't go well. I only did it for Elena. Wow I sound like Stefan. I hated sounding like him, it almost make me feel like if I care. I mean I care but only in my own way I do.

I know him losing Bonnie must be hard but I don't see why he would hurt her by kissing some dead chic. That dude is totally fucked up in the brain. I look at Elena who was talking to Caroline now. She gave me a knowing apologetic stare. Tyler left to play pool. I wanted to have some more drinks before I go.

On my third drink, I hear a bunch of commotion and so did Elena and them. I look at the door to see the one thing we haven't seen in a month. Bonnie.

**Well review. Bonnie learned a lot about her mom. Elena turning a little likes a slut. Jeremy is angry at himself and Damon is acting himself for now anyways. What will happen next's now that Bonnie outside her house? oh I don't own Vampire diaries.**


	3. whats done cant be undone

**Now here we are so close yet so far**

**How did I passed the test**

**When will you realize baby, I'm not like the rest**

**Don't wanna break your heart; wanna give your heart a break**

**I know you're scared it's wrong like you might make a mistake**

**There's only one life to live and there's no time to wait, to waste**

**So let me give your heart a break, it only so much you can take**

BONNIE

I finally made my way to the grille. I saw a lot of students here looking at me. It been a month since they seen me so I guess I could've expected this. I tried pushing through the crowd that was sort of forming. When I past them I finally was able to fully enter the grille.

I walk into the grille sensing the people I least wanted to see. I made contact with Jeremy, Matt, Tyler, Elena, Caroline, and Damon. I look at Jeremy the longest and turn back around and left. I noticed Stefan wasn't here. He must still be with Klaus.

I knew they would follow me so it was no way to beat it but if I ignore them enough they may just leave me alone. The wind was blowing my hair which was getting into my face. "bonnie." I knew that voice very well now. It was my mother. "You can't keep running you know. You have to face them now." she said softly. She was right I couldn't keep running not forever anyways.

I was about to turn around until I see they all finally catch up to me, Damon being the first. I didn't look into any of their eyes. I came to have fun, flirt, and finally go a day without crying, but I couldn't have that. Elena was the first to speak. "Bonnie, we miss you." I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. "It's been hard without." Caroline said. I averted my gaze to her then back to Elena's.

I didn't want their pity, but that doesn't mean to get an attitude towards them. They didn't hurt me, Jeremy did. I knew I had to say something anything, but nothing will come out my mouth. Just when I was about to say something Jeremy said something. Just seeing him just made me want to hurt him, to forget everything that we did, forget that I ever meant something to him.

I wanted this talk over with NOW! I can't stand to look at him. It has been a month with me crying, not eating right, nightmares of sleeping. I'm done hiding, crying, screaming, yelling and the what if game. I want to go back to being me again. I'm sick and tired or being sick and tired. "You know what." I cut off, saying something for the first time. "You don't have to say anything." With that I walk off, but yet they stilled follow me.

Well I wasn't stopping now I was too close to my house and there was no way and hell was I letting Damon into my house. I walked up to my porch. "Bonnie, you can't keep running." Damon said. Normally I would argue with him and mess with his brain but I didn't want to take my anger out on him for I know I wouldn't stop because of what Jeremy did. Me hurting Damon doesn't stop the hurt Jeremy had caused.

But he was right I couldn't keep running because I am tired- literally. "We'll leave while you guys talk." Elena said. For some reason her just saying that made me want to hurt her and her brother. I didn't need her help making my own decisions. It didn't really bother me until now. They all left I guess heading back to the grille to get whoever's car. If they were going to leave why not take Jeremy with them and on top of that why would they follow when they knew I probably won't let them in my house.

I sat down on my porch swing set, looking at Jeremy who's looking everywhere but me. I could tell he was nervous. That was one thing I loved about Jeremy when he was nervous he could never look straight at me. At time it was actually kind of cute but it sickens me. "I'm waiting." I said. Now he finally looks at me.

"Bonnie." He started and I'm sorry but I had to cut him off. This was already pissing me off and he didn't even say 2 words yet. "Look Jeremy, to make it simple and easy, I'm just gonna tell you that I'm giving your heart a break. What you did was disrespectful and disloyal. Now I may be a lot if things but a cheater was never one of them. And what hurt the most is every time I was with you it was always her wasn't it?" I asked. His silenced answer my question.

I got up off the swing. "Bonnie I never meant to hurt you like this. I didn't know I still care until we…." He didn't finish so I did it for him. "Until you two were able to touch each other." I nodded as in understood-ment. I didn't want to have this conversation the one I'm sorry for this I didn't mean to hurt you when you know damn well you did. If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have done it, but if I wanted to be myself again I would have to forgive him that's the only way to become the same and improved me again. So I did. "Jeremy thanks for clearly showing me that people can still care, but I'm not like everyone and that something that you knew but forgot so like I said earlier I'm giving your heart break- so I forgive you." And with that I unlock the door and went inside my house.

I open the my house door and close it on his face leaning my head on it and sliding down to the floor to sit down. Few tears escape my eyes. I knew I wanted this to happen to get this out the way, but it felt so fast. I guess I have to take baby steps. I guess I'll start hanging with Caroline.

I got up from the floor went to my room changed and practice some spells. It was 8:30 I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to watch TV; I didn't want to talk so this thought was a winner.

JEREMY

Her shutting the door on my face was rude but I guess I deserve it. I stood a little longer staring at the door. I can't believe that something like this happen. I was started walking to my house as I realized that nothing was going to change. I thought about Anna, to me cheating, bonnie, my life, and how I got fired from my job because of my break up.

FLASHBACK

I was act the grille working I had to work at the bar which is illegal for me since I'm under age but Matt couldn't do it, his arm broke but he watch me though. Damon came in and asked for some alcoholic drink besides Bourbon and Whiskey. He got mad because I told him. "rum or coke." That the only thing I knew how make when I use to be stoned with Vicky. He got smart and said. "Young Gilbert I told you what I want-." I rolled my eyes. "I know what you said, but I said all I can make is rum and coke." He didn't reply because my stupid manger came over.

He never remembers anything about anyone unless it benefits him. He was only the manger because the real one was out for a couple of days. What made it even worse was the fact that Matt was cleaning tables. "Jeremy, I thought you said you could work a bar." I stared at him crazy. I'm under 18 how in the hell could I be able to run a bar. "I didn't tell you that." I laughed coldly.

He gave me a death glare and serves a couple of people who was at the bar down from me. Damon was too busy looking amuse by are amusement that he didn't know he had woman trying to flirt with him. Some woman came in and asked for my manger but he seems to see her and walk over to where we were.

He said "hey baby." She smiled. she kissed him and said "hey" back. I almost miss that sometimes when I would run into Bonnie she would smile I'll give her a kiss and a hug. Seeing them all like that sicken me so the best of me comment on it. "eww you gonna get scars." I whisper.

Damon also chokes on his drink trying not to laugh. So instead he turns his head to talk to some girl who had hair like Bonnie's. That pissed me off but I couldn't do anything about it because my manger said something about getting some ashtrays. So I did as I was told. I didn't know why they needed it, didn't they know I'm allergic to smoke...well not really I just hated it ever since I stop smoking.

"Ron, baby gives me a cigarette." The woman said. I don't like smoke so they have to go somewhere else with that. I only have a couple minutes before my shift is over and I didn't want to waste it being around smoke. "No, you gonna have to move with that I have allergies, so if you smoke I blow them tracks right out your head." I said not caring if I offended her. The girl look at my manger Ron and she had a look that said are you going to do something about what he just said to me. "Good help is so hard to fine." I smirk knowing that was somewhat true.

"And apparently so is a good hairdresser for your girl. I mean look at her. Her neck her, her back she needs to fix that new growth and her tracks." Damon but busted all and laughed. Ron look piss that I offended her and so did she. She got up in point in my face and said "you are this close to getting fired." I couldn't help but said something back. She wasn't even my manger so how could she fire me. "And you're this close to finding dr. miracle." I said. She walks off with an attitude. She stomped almost like Bonnie.

Matt came over after he heard what I said to her and the manger. He look confuse about all this. Ron walks off to talk to her. "What are you doing?" He asked. I shrugged. To be honest I don't know. Seeing your ex girlfriends and your current one who is now your ex girlfriend really fucks a person up. Ron came back over and said "your fired." At that moment I was really happy. My shift was over and at that moment I didn't really care. I hate working for this place especially with him.

"ok." I said. "Now go to the back and get my check." I stated. "I'll have the office mail you your check." Now my happy mood was gone and now I'm am piss. "I didn't mail my stuff up in her, so you aint about to mail me no check." Damon look amused so did the girl he was talking to and Matt look horrified. Ron laughed. "Well it is now." I knew I was going to do something I will regret. I just need a drink. Before I knew it I grabbed a whiskey bottle open it and drunk some. "Jeremy, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Ron asked shock. "inventory." And with that I left leaving a shock Ron and Matt and a laughing Damon.

**Well this was some Beremy. Now all I need is some Bamon and the story will be getting good. Now in the next chapter going to be a little off, It will be a new month Bonnie stronger then ever before and something big will come up.**


	4. dont love me

**You a bad girl and your friends bad too**

**I maybe young but im also ready to give you all my love**

**Start playing with the radio and the night belongs to us**

**Just slow it down and let go**

**So in love I give away just don't tell nobody tomorrow… **

Its been a 4 weeks again before I left the house to do anything. All I did in the house was magic and talk to my mom and that's about it. My mom kept telling me if I wanted a new start I have to begin on my two legs and not my butt. So today I was going over Caroline house for a girl night out. Elena would also come and I'm not sure about how I feel about that.

She is still my best friend and I will always love her but she is also Jeremy big sister and things between us are rocky in my book. I can't blame her, I shouldn't blame her but I do. I got off the bed took a shower and brush my teeth and dress in a white summer dress with a demy jean jacket, with sandals.

I got a bag to put some of my things I was going to need in Caroline house into my bag. I was going to take my car. I wanted to arrive early so me and Caroline could hang out a bit before Elena comes alone. I noticed when she around Damon seems to be around her too. Maybe she like Katherine and got both of the brothers at different times.

I scolded myself for thinking that of my best friend. She didn't deserve that. but what she won't know wont her. I headed downstairs grabbed my keys and left the house. 'Have fun' I heard my mom say in my head. I smiled. I know she could see that. But lately she has been acting kind of weird. Like she would try to say something then something dawn on her and she never finish it. I never asked her about but I'm going to one day.

I finally made to Caroline's. I knock on the door and she opens it. She looks no different from the last times I been seeing her. She still have her hair straight now, her skin paler which make her look better, her body shape a perfection. She looks no different besides the vampire part of her. "Bonnie!" she smiles. I gave her a big hug. "Come in. I'm so glad you can make it. We are going to have so much fun today just the three of us." Everything sounded fun until she said 3. I'm just not ready to face Elena yet but I'm going to have to for now.

She enters the kitchen. "I brought your favorite ice cream, cookie 'n' cream" I smiled at her. "My favorite." She gave me a spoon and we start digging out of the container. "My gosh Bonnie, you look…different." Well when I was dressing I said the same thing too. My mom said it was because I was barely seeing myself anymore that I didn't know how much I changed. My hair grew, so did my height, my boob look are huge, and my curves had filled in.

"Yeah, I have been working out at the gym… trying to get myself back on track from you knows…" I couldn't say his name but if I wanted to move on I had to. "Jeremy." She nodded. "I know it's a touchy subject for you to talk about." I nodded. "I'm sorry." She said looking at the ice cream. What did she need to say sorry for no one could have done anything about it? I think he picked it up from Elena because one second you see her kissing Stefan to Damon, that Jeremy maybe thought he could do it too kiss me and then Anna.

"Well I came to have fun so let have fun and not dwell from the past shall we." I stated. The door bell ranged and that could only mean Elena was finally here. Caroline went to answer the door I was still in the kitchen eating my ice cream. In came Elena, Caroline, and Damon of course he always needs to be with his brother girlfriend. how can he do something to his brother that loves him and want nothing more than to be his brother again. Gosh I wish I had a sibling.

"Hey bonnie, I'm so glad to see…gosh you look different." Elena said coming to stand right next to me. I nodded. That all I could do at the moment. She gave me a hug. "I'm sorry." She whispers in my ear. We pulled back and I looked at her and gave her a fake smile luckily there believable now of days. "Witchy, it great to see you again, just hope you don't fuck with my head anymore." I smiled at him. I know I wouldn't do it before but to be honest he keep me sane if anything I know if I'm not going crazy I can count on him to make me see that I can do it.

They all looked shock that I laughed at one of his statements. "what." I said. I knew what I just want to hear the statements about it. They shook there head. "well ladies, we have a long night ahead of us and I will like it if Damon the jack ass Salvatore would leave." Elena gave her Caroline behave look, Damon glared and I just watch. Elena always see what best in people but right now some people don't need to be there best to try to front with someone. If Caroline don't like him that not her problem it's Caroline. "Drop dead Barbie." Damon retorted. "Oh wait you already did." "Oh no, I didn't drop dead, there was no dropping period. I was lying down and suffocated by your bitch of so called ex girlfriend lover Katherine." "Says the girl who has Elena ex boyfriend, he's a rebound." If looks can kill I'll tell you Damon would be dead million times over. "Like you are to Elena, Oh yeah I went there Damon now that you can't have Katherine you went for Elena. Now she's your rebound." Caroline threw back.

He was going to say more but there always a hero to stop every war and who stop this war was Elena. She gave both a look and said. "Now is not the time to bring that up. It's a girl night and we came to have fun." She stared at Damon long and hard. "yeah sure whatever you have fun with your 'girl night.'" He said leaving. Elena sighed. I look at her long and hard as she stared at the front door. Something off about her to and I don't think I wanna find out but something tells me otherwise.

"Well ok girls. Here the plan. Funky towns are open so we can head there at 8 and its 6:45 now. Hope you guys I mean ladies brought something sexy to wear because tonight where going partying, umm next well I don't know but I want to have fun." I nodded. This is why I love hanging with Caroline when you're in a bad mood she can change it right away. "Well what are we going until we get dress." "Well I want to catch up on you." Elena nodded. "Well nothing happen really. I have been practicing my magic and that really it." I didn't want to tell them about my mom because I just didn't feel like getting so much into it.

"And…" Caroline tried to get out of me. "And I have been trying to get myself back into shape." I said finished. "That's good Bonnie." I nodded. "Yeah. I need to do something other than magic. I needed to see my friends." They both gave me a hug smiling. "well enough about me lets shower, pick clothes, make up, eat and then to the club." I said. They both cheered and we made our way to Caroline's room.

Ok so me finding something sexy wasn't really hard. I knew if I was going over to Caroline's of course we would be going out and having fun so I brought a black short dress with a bow on the side that wrap around that make the black dress whole. Me describing the dress doesn't sound as pretty but once you really do see it it's smoking hot. So it took Caroline to pick a dress but she agreed on a red dress. It was mid thigh. The dress was simple and plain but it gave Caroline a sexy, dangerous look but to bad she taken. Elena went with a summer white dress. Caroline disapproved since we going clubbing but Elena thought it was good enough.

'maybe because I don't want to make Damon mad.' She thought. I had totally forgotten that I did a truth spell and hearing her say that was a surprise then wasn't. I was surprised for one because I can get the truth in my head and I wasn't because her statement about the dress. Caroline truth popped in my head. 'Really you would think your friend would be honest about herself now that she got both the Salvatore tied to her.' I tried not to laugh at Caroline attitude towards Elena.

"care, make up time." I said. She squealed. She did Elena's make up and hers. I didn't want to look all pretty up or whatever, so I did mine. I put on mascara, light clear lip gloss, and black eye shadow. I felt sexy and dangerous. "ok I'm good to go." I said. "me too." "now shoes" said Caroline. I wanted the black pumps, Elena went with white flats, Caroline went with cheetah print with the trim painted red. 'we look smoking hot well almost we' I laughed at Care truth thought.

'ugh, they look hot and I look simple but I don't care…' Elena thought. "ok to the grille I'm ready to eat." I grabbed my small black purse slipped in my cell, money, wallet, lip stick and whatever else I need.

LATER AT THE GRILLE

It was crowed here. We manage to get a table. We sat in the middle. "I hope you don't mind but Matt wanted to tag alone." I nodded no. "No care, it's ok I miss him." I said. Matt showed up once we order. "Oh my gosh Bonnie you look…so different, a good different." 'Smoking hot no she beyond that sexy as hell.' I smiled and got up and gave him a hug. He sat next to me across from Caroline. "so how you been Bon." He asked. "I have been better."

"that's good." I nodded. The waiter came back to us and something just hit me. "do Jeremy still work her." I asked Matt, but Elena answered. "no he gotten fired 4 weeks ago." I nodded. "He had gotten fired because he was being rude to our manger and his girlfriend." I nodded. "he wasn't the only one going crazy from missing you Bon." Elena said. I look at Matt and Caroline and they both nodded their heads too.

I didn't reply. I didn't know what to comment about it. I mean I loved the guy and he hurt me and he expects me to forgive him. I gave him so many chances for him to fix it and the first one was for him to stop seeing her, thinking of her and especially if I was there with him, but no he kept doing it. If I went with him again how I not know it won't happen again with Vicky this time.

I start eating my salad. Next who came in were Alaric and Damon. In followed them was Tyler and Jeremy. "Ok it time to go its 7:48. The drive is long and we want to meet some really cute guys." I got up before Jeremy could have the chance to spot me.

DAMON

Well leaving Elena was easy but what was hard was trying not to rip little Ms Blondie head off. So I left to grab a drink with my buddy, my favorite teacher Alaric. He insisted that we bring little Gilbert boy with us because he needed to stop mopping over Bonnie. What a douche if you asked me.

Bonnie had good reason to break up with him. He was more fuck up then I ever was. So maybe that's a lie, but it wasn't like I was the one getting stone, and was seeing a ghost. He also brought mutt with him because he didn't have anything else better to do.

We finally made it to the grille I was glad to because if I heard Jeremy sign one more time just over Bonnie I was surely going to kill him for real this time. Now that I enter the grille I sort of regret it. We found a table and Jeremy spotted Bonnie talking. She liked she was having fun. What a pity that her ex boyfriend had to ruin that it almost made the situation funny.

Alaric tensed up he already thought he was bad at kids now he tensing up more because of Jeremy fuck up problem in life. "we all need a drink." Everyone nodded. Jeremy was to young to drink but im doing this so he can shut the hell up. So I compelled the waiter to bring him a whiskey.

We only been here for a minute or two when I heard Bonnie speaking wanting to leave to go to some club. I didn't like the fact they were going to a club. So I got the boys to stop drinking. "were leaving." I stated. "we just got here." Alaric stated looking confuse. "well yeah but I know this place where there even better drinks." "how can any drinks be better there all the same like the ones here." Jeremy said. "oh shut the hell up and quit your mopping. If you keep signing I'm really going to end your life." He kept quite. We all got up by time Bonnie and her friends left the grille. We followed them unknown until we made it to the club called funky town.

BONNIE

We made it to the club, we found a parking space and parked. I grabbed my purse and start walking to the door. I enter the club and it was like a Zoo under control. Music was blazing, people grinding, people laughing, drinking, having a good time. This is where I needed to be.

I left my friends to dance. Soon Caroline joined with Matt. I didn't know where Elena went and at the moment I didn't care. Some guy came up behind me and started dancing with me. I turn to see who it is. "Hi I'm khalil, I didn't mean to come up on you like that, I just like the way you was dancing and plus you look sexy as hell." He said. "Well thanks, I'm Bonnie, and I don't mind I need this at the moment." we didn't say nothing. We were dancing to 'imma be' by the black eyes peas. It was one of my favorite songs by them besides pump it. It was a catchy beat. I loved it because it gets me hype every time.

A couple more songs played. Khalil and I learn some things about each other. The music came to a stop as a man walk onto stage. "Ok this is Kevin Heart up here and let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen you all looking good tonight especially you ladies. You all should know what pop star night is. Now here is pop star night if you don't know what it is. It is when we have a spot light that choose some people to sing. No one knows who will be picked. If your picked bring some talent or something cause y'all singing tonight."

The switch on a big spot light and landed on someone and that someone was me. Everyone clapped. "Now the first person who's sings does a solo first then we will judge you." "Great" I said sacristy to myself. "Not only for getting pick but I got to be judge by my singing."

I walk up on the stage. I was handed a mic. I didn't know what to say, what to sing, but I know I can say something about myself, life, or relationship. Those are always good ways to start a song. A nice soothing beat came on and almost instantly I knew what to say.

**THE SLIGHTEST WORS YOU'VE SAID**

**HAVE ALL GONE TO MY HEAD**

**I HEAR ANGLE SING IN YOUR VOICE**

**WHEN YOU PULL ME CLOSE**

**FEELING I NEVER KNOWN**

**THEY MEAN EVERYTHING AND LEAVE ME NO CHOICE**

**LIGHT ON MY HEART**

**LIGHT ON MY FEET**

**LIGHT IN YOUR EYES**

**I CANT EVEN SPEAK DO YOU EVEN KNOW**

**HOW YOU MAKE ME WEAK**

**IM A LIGHT WEIGHT**

**BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY**

**WITH EVERY WORD**

**IM BLOWN AWAY**

**YOU'RE were IN CONTROL OF MY HEART**

**IM A LIGHT WEIGHT**

**EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK**

**WITH EVERY MOVE MY WHOLE WORLD SHAKES**

**KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

I paused for a moment as the beat took it course. I spotted my friends but I noticed more people by them. The one person that caught my eye was Jeremy. This song was meant to him for what he put me through. If you pay attention to what I say you can see the words match what happen to us, to me, to him and somewhat of my friends

**MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE**

**YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN REACH**

**JUST IN CASE I NEED YOU THERE WHEN I CALL**

**THIS IS ALL TOO NEW**

**SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE**

**COULD THIS REALLY BE A SAFE PLACE TO FALL**

**LIGHT ON MY heart**

**LIGHT ON MY FEET**

**LIGHT IN YOUR EYES**

**I CANT EVEN SPEAK**

**DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW YOU MAKE ME WEAK**

**IM A LIGHT WEIGHT**

**BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY**

**WITH EVERY WORD IM BLOWN AWAY**

**YOU'RE WERE IN CONTROL OF MY HEART**

**IM A LIGHTWEIGHT**

**EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK**

**WITH EVERY WORD MOVE MY WHOLE WORLD SHAKES**

**KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

I could see by his reaction that this is/was affecting him. I just wanted my feeling to escape somehow and this was one way and a great way to because he's hearing what I have to say. When he cheated he broke me to pieces and I need someone to help me fix them to put them back into place. I saw my mother reappear right beside Damon, smiling at me. I smile back and continue singing.

**KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

**I DROWNED IN YOUR LOVE**

**ITS ALMOST TO MUCH**

**HANDLE WITH CARE SAY YOU'LL BE THERE**

**IM A LIGHT WEIGHT**

**BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY **

**WITH EVERY WORD IM BLOWN AWAY**

**YOU'RE WERE IN CONTROL OF ME HEART**

**IM LIGHTWEIGHT **

**EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK**

**WITH EVERY MOVE MY WHOLE WORLD SHAKES**

**IT'S KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

**IT'S KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

**ITS'S KEEP ME FROM FALLIN' APART**

**OH OH**

**FALLIN' APART**

The music was dying down as I was finishing the song. Everyone screamed and cheer, whistle, clapped anything you name they did it. I exit off stage and went to the bar instead of my friends to give me some water. "give a hand for her. She did a really good job."

JEREMY

Hearing Bonnie singing these words makes me want to take back everything I did and I don't even know how. I wanna help her I wanna keep her sane, but I'm losing a battle that can't even be won. I don't I could take someone else putting her together.

I left my seat going outside to go home to think of some way to get her back and that means going to some people I'll do it for her because I love her. I got a taxi. Someone called my name. "Jeremy, wait where are you going." Alaric asked out of breath. "Im going home to think, I'll see you there." I said closing the door. He nodded.


	5. freak the freak out

**Busy day got a lot on your mind?**

**You should hear about mine**

**A tall drink of water and a pretty little thing,**

**We're kissing on the corner in the pouring rain.**

**Turned my head to get a better view**

**Oh, lord helps me it was you.**

**Didn't love me**

**I aint no fool didn't love me**

**No, no no, no**

JEREMY

I got out the taxi and in walk into my room. About time I'm laid down on my bed the door bell rung. I didn't expected anyone to come with me. it couldn't be Elena and Alaric they have a key. 'maybe it's Bonnie' I thought.

I walk downstairs to open the door to see that is was Tyler. I invited him in the house and he followed me to my room. "did you need something." I asked him as I settle in my bed lying down throwing a ball in the air, he sat on my computer desk chair. "I know how you was in the club to Bonnie singing and I was going to tell you there was a way to get her back." He said.

I sat up to hear him for more details. "how?" I asked him. "You may not go through with it but Klaus can help you." "you damn right I'm not going to go throw with it. Dude seriously, I know you are sired so why send me to someone who wanted Bonnie and my sister dead and everyone else included." I said rolling my eyes. "He not going to hurt you all he wants is his family coffins." He stated. "so and all I want is Bonnie-" he cut me off. "and he cane give you that." "and what in return." I asked. "if you help him with his family coffins things." I thought long and hard about this.

I loved Bonnie, I would do anything for and if that mean helping Klaus fins his coffin for him to help me get Bonnie then I will do it. I just hope im doing the right thing though.

BONNIE

After the drinking my water I moved where my friends where. Caroline gave me a big hug. "Oh my God, Bonnie you did great." She squealed. I laughed at her excitement. "Who knew you have such talent." Damon smirk 'maybe she good at something' his truthful thought said. I smiled at him. He look at little surprise I smiled at him. "Bonnie, you should really sing more." Elena said. "Yeah, I don't know. It just came to me." I said. "it can be better if you stop trapping yourself." Damon said.

Ok wait he just said something nice to me not 2 minute later ago and now he trying to hurt me. ok game on. "Maybe you would've heard me if you quit making gaga eyes at your brother girlfriend. You remember Stefan." Elena looks down ashamed and Damon just smirked. "Not like he can do anything about it." "Shut the hell up you cocky ass vamp. I can still fuck you and your damn brain up." "Oh no witch, I like to be fuck in the bed." I gave him a death glare.

I walked away and grabbed khalil hand and began dancing with him. I didn't feel like fighting with Damon. I don't need to be piss right now. How can he be sweet in some way and turn into an ass next? I began grinding on Khalil. His hand travels up my thigh making me moan in the process. The clubs lights dimmed down because of him just touching me this way.

I could feel him getting hard. 'She's a good dancer and singer let see if she good in the bed.' So this perv wanted to get on me. ok let play the game. I start rubbing my butt up and down on his hard cock. I turn around to face him. His eyes were close tight. Now my front was facing his cock. He moved his hands and grab my butt hard. I started moving up and down faster creating friction between us.

He pinches my butt so hard that I knew he was Cuming on himself. I smiled at my work. He opens his eyes and I stop dancing to see his little creation I help him made. He looks at me to his pants then back to me. He was going to continue dancing with me until Damon came. "May I?" Damon asked. I looked at Khalil. "Umm yeah, go ahead." He went to try to clean himself up. He walks off, I grab Damon hand and we danced.

DAMON

I saw what Bonnie was doing to that guy. I saw how hard she was making him and for some reason it was pissing me off. It pissed me off because I was hard just from watching her and two because this douche thinks he can touch her any kind of way. I mean I can't touch her, I mean can but I don't plan to have a fucked up head like young Gilbert.

I left Elena since she was talking to Matt and Barbie over her and Alaric is talking to some girl. I cut in between there dance. "May I?" I asked. The dude replied by saying "umm yeah go ahead." I took over. "What do you want Damon." She asked. "Oh so I can't dance with my favorite witch who I haven't seen since forever." I twirled her around. "Not unless you want something so what is it." "Oh I'm so hurt." I put on a hurt expression."I can care less." "Oh touchy, you need to be more like that to young Gilbert." She stops dancing and look at me. "Is this what this is all about Jeremy?"

I grab her back towards me and we swayed to the music. "no." she didn't say anything she resume back to swaying. "So how come you haven't left your house in a month." She didn't answer right away which piss me off. I twirl her out then back in; I spun her around now that she was facing me. "I have been practicing some magic. Why?" "Well I was curious, have to make sure our towns witch was okay." She rolled her eyes. "Can I ask you a question?" "You're going to ask me it even if I say no." "Good point. Why did you smile at me earlier, I would have thought you have gave me a fuck up head." "Oh if you want one I am gladly to give you one. I need to get back to myself anyways." "I see you're avoiding my question so you're not going to answer it are you?" She nodded.

Now what happen a couple hours later was kind of a blur. I convince Bonnie into getting a drink. She like it but didn't want another. So I compelled a waiter to give her more of the drink she was having. She was on 8th couple and she was getting wasted. It was fun watching her this way because she is saying retarded things. I couldn't get drunk but damn it all to heck I was trying or least get tipsy.

Later Caroline and Matt joined then Elena. Bonnie got on top of the bar and laid down she have some douche drink for her belly button. I could see the guy sucking her belly button making her close her eyes and gasp. Seeing her like that was a turn on. Once the dude stop drinking off of her she stood on the bar table and danced like crazy. I sat in front of her seeing her black lacy panties. Her black dress and wild her made her look even sexier. She brought up Caroline with her on the table and began dancing with each other.

They were dancing to Déjà Vu by Beyonce. They were dancing crazy when that song went off. Sexy and I know it came on. Let me tell you seeing Bonnie like this letting go was really fun she was better than her serious side. She grabbed my hand and brought me on top of the table with her. More and more drinks kept making our ways towards us.

Bonnie almost fell off the table that I caught her. I stared into her beautiful brown eyes. Wait beautiful. I didn't have much time to think about what I said when Alaric called me. "Damon, I'm taking Elena home, she drunk and she going to have one hell of a head ach." I nodded. I turn my attention back to Bonnie she was smiling at me. I smirk at her. "what?" I asked her. She barely made since to me but I understood her enough. "You, you have realllly pretty blllue eyes." She said her words slurred.

I laughed. "you're not so bad either." She smiled again. Then she fainted in my arms. I saw Matt walk over to me carrying a drunken Caroline. She was talking to Matt but he wasn't listening. "We should get them home." He said.

We drove back to Caroline house. I carried Bonnie to Caroline front porch. She opens her eyes and smile. "Damon, you're welcome into my house." I stop to look at her, she reclosed her eyes. She just invited me to her house when we weren't even at her house. She is totally chocolate wasted.

I walk into the house and laid her beside Caroline on the bed. I took off her shoes and kiss her on her forehead and wish her good night. I don't know when I start kissing people on the forehead especially the witch but I can say it was nice.

CAROLINE

I can something is flying between Damon and Bonnie and them dancing. Even though I can hear every word they are saying, I can hear his concern he's trying so hard to hide. I didn't pay much attention to the conversation me, matt and Elena is having I was too busy looking at the couple dancing.

Bonnie and Damon I could see that. I can see them together. I can see Damon being over protective over his property or whatever he calls his things. I can see Bonnie finding a way to make something right between them; bickering, but at the end it comes down to them wanting to keep each other safe. My thought was cut off by Elena saying "what is Damon and Bonnie doing?" She looks a little jealous. Seriously we just got Bonnie back; and she already judging her. I do not want to lose her again. "She trying to have fun Elena, so let her." I said. I gave her one of my looks.

I mean Elena can be sometime too much that it makes people not want to put up with them. Her brother cheated on my best friend and she's over here jealous because she dancing with a guy who's not evens hers. How selfish is she. What does she expect from Bonnie? She just gotten cheated on and on top off that she has a bunch of other crap she trying to deal with.

I turn my attention back on to them. I plan to get them together they both deserver each other even if they may not know it.

**Read and review. Sorry haven't been writing disclaimer I don't own VD. So what you think? Jeremy making a deal with the devil, Elena jealously, caroline planning for Bamon, and what about Bonnie mother…wll she has a big part in the story later on.**


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